I Plan, and So Does God

Lets see, I left class, drove to the airport, got there an hour in advance, got my strip search on, all with time to spare. Oh, it was raining as I was driving to the airport. Last night as I was about to go to bed, I checked the local forecast, all the talking heads predicted rain late in the evening on Friday, so I was like cool. Well, when I boarded the plane, it was raining still, I grabbed the complimentary blanket and got all cozy in my seat, awaiting my voyage to begin. Then something happened, I looked out the window, and noticed it was snowing a little bit. From my seat I was like cool, its snowing how nice. Anyway, I guess the snow came hella fast, cause by the time we got through rolling to the runway, the pilot came on talking about we gonna check to see if we need to de-ice. So we sat on the runway for about an hour, while the de-icing truck made its way to us on the runway. I look out the window and I see three brothers, (bruhs don't do snow) any way them cats looked like they did not know what was goin on. I can imagine their conversation,

Bruh 1 - Hey, we gotta go de-ice some planes man. Bruh 2- De-ice? What negroe? Bruh2- I aint doin shit, its snowing out there, and its cold, what you say we gotta do? Bruh 1- Main, we gotta hose the plane down to make sure there is no ice on the plane, you gotta get in that lift and spray the plane. Bruh 2 - All hell naw negroe, I aint getting in that thing, look outside fool, its snowing.

The conversation had to have gone like that cause, I glanced back out the window to see them cranking up the truck and all this black smoke came out the exhaust, (a sign that the de-icing truck aint been cranked in years) Then there was a standoff between the bruhs as they debated on who was gonna drive the truck and who was getting in the lift. By the time they agreed on who was driving and who was spraying, the pilot comes over the intercom and announces, the snow is too heavy to leave and we need more gas before we de-ice so we are gonna go back to the gate. I saw the bruh's hi-fiving each other as they hopped back in the truck. Mind you, the Fed-Ex jets were getting de-iced while these two cats were negotiating a deal. So by the time I got off the plane, we had been on it about two and a half hours. Oh, I forgot about the little bad azz kid sitting behind my seat that kept kicking me in the back and the lil bastard farted, yea, it was his little azz. So, I pull a lil stewardess to the side, and asked her if she could put me on the next flight out, I really gotta get to Durham. About five minutes later she came back and told me she put me on the last flight out. I was appreciative and kool with that, so I grabbed a quick bite and chilled for the next two hours. Finally, they announced my new flight was boarding and they started allowing parents with babies to board. I was like yea, its all good, I'm out finally. They announce my section to board, and I SWEAR, as soon as I got my azz up, some one from the plane came out and announced the flight was cancelled. I was like hell naw nicca, aw hell mf naw....naw naw, not today, not the kid. Then this country dude, who was on the previous flight with me, got on the bandwagon adding a few choice words. So I marched my azz up to the counter, put my diplomatic face on, and was like, ok um...so uh, when can I get to Durham? How bout 6:00 pm Saturday? Damn Damn Damn. Uh, can you go get my shit off the plane? If I tell the story about how I finally got my luggage, well lets just say.....I'm just gonna take my disappointed self to bed.

On a serious note, Judge D'Armey Bailey was scheduled to be the keynote speaker at the convention. He was on my first flight, and did not get on the second flight. Hopefully he will make it down there. That would suck if there was no guest speaker at the convention.