Boot Camp
I've been catching a little grief on my lil comment on love. I think I said, "Love, damn if you do, damn if you don't". All I was getting at is that it is extremely hard to survive the dating process to make it to love. Walk with me.....if you get lost, don't worry, the blind never could lead the blind....
Ok, dating is like a big azz military obstacle course, with barbed wire, land mines, explosions, and live rounds buzzing overhead. As you make it a short distance within the course, you are able to grab the Relationship flag. You exhale for a moment, and that;s when the explosions are unleashed left and right. Those explosions may be Big Booty Trudy slipping you her number, cellie ringing at 2:00 a.m., an unexpected knock at the door, or possibly being spotted somewhere you claimed you were not. The slightest step to the right or left, or the slightest slip can cause one to have to return to the beginning of the course. Sometimes you have those risk takers on the obstacle course, who love causing the explosions, or one who believe thinks they can jump over the mud pond without the aid of rope. They are willing to take a few gambles, in hope of not getting jacked. For those who take the cautious approach, getting through the obstacle course can seem like an eternity. Some, thinking they have a clear path to the end of the course, make that mad dash or the finish, only to step on a hidden mine. They explode right before they get to the promise land. Those who are cautious can either nut up, scared to push on cause of the hidden land mines, or take too long getting to the finish line, thus losing out completely. By the time you finish the course, u lucky to to still have both legs....
The description above, however inaccurate or exaggerated it may be, is simply too exhaustive. Too much work involved. First of all, how do you know you have the one? How do you know when to make that mad dash for the finish line? All in all, its like a math class, and lord knows how I did in math. Tomorrow, perhaps I will give some hypos.
posted by Spike Zee @ 1:06 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Your analogy of love to war games/training speaks volumes on where your head is at when it comes to male-female relations.
I really believe it to be an accurate comparison, from both sides view. How do you see it?
I submit, relationships can be a mental war when someone is on game and don't have respect for the people they are dealing with (what causes war?: a breakdown in communication and lack of respect for the other side). Respect for the person you are dealing with includes open and truthful communication on your intent, and respect for the other person's time and their intent in the relationship.
This is how I see it. If an analogy had to be made, I would say that a relationship is like an interview where you are recruiting for one of the most important positions on your team -- your partner. The question becomes what do you want in your partner? What's important? Loyalty? Similarity of life missions? Spiritual connectedness? When you find the qualities you are looking for in your life partner (whatever that is), big booty Celia, lying about where you're at, and any other such foolish distractions becomes a non-issue when it comes to recruiting that right candidate to your team--assuring that person through your actions that they've found a home (friend/man/lover/etc.) with you or at least that you are very interested in continuing the dialogue that has started. That's how I look at it.
That was an excellent breakdown. I could not disagree with you even if I wanted to for for argument sake. You hit everything. Do you concur that the stumbling blocks I threw out there are legit, and if so, how does one avoid them?
Your sports analogies....have you been having chats with the fellas?
What you describe as distractions and stumbling blocks involes consensual engagements--meaning you agree to open the door at 2am, you agree to have dinner with a new woman when you've told your lady (candidate numero uno) that you're out with the fellas or working late, you've agreed to go to Celia's home knowing that she has expressed intimate intent. I say all that to bring home the consensual nature of these engagements. You're playing everyone involved (including yourself) when you're not being honest about your intent or non-intent. When a person has allowed themselves to become emotionally engaged with you and you have any respect for them, you'll give them the gift of honesty. The road of deceit is filled with darkness, hurt feelings, and sometimes newly acquired enemies. This is the road to least travel and preferably avoid altogether, even at the transaction cost of incurring high toll fees.
In essence, recognize and sidestep the potential stumbling blocks altogether (most of which are clearly visible) and decide you're dealing with someone more important than your curiosity or hormones
OR continue to participate in the war games. It's really not that bad dealing with one person at a time.
On that note, good luck on all that my friend. Peace.
Dealing with one person is a beautiful thing. My post, reflects how I see dating generally. Heck, even marriage.
Sitting on the sidelines, I've seen it all, from the guys perspective and even the ladies. The war games analogy is real. It's comical at times. Even those ho begin the course with great intentions, take hits, traversing the course.
As for me.....I shall crawl ahead. Good post my friend.
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